


Kakuzu, the Exorcist

by HidansCrazyLaugh



Category: Naruto
Genre: Blood, Domestic Fluff, Kakuhida - Freeform, M/M, hidan dies and comes back, hidan has wings, hidan is a demon, i don't know if it's really graphic violence but there's fighting and lots of blood, kakuzu is a scam artist, modern supernatural fic, they are very sensitive
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-14
Updated: 2018-07-14
Packaged: 2019-06-10 08:53:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15288009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HidansCrazyLaugh/pseuds/HidansCrazyLaugh
Summary: Kakuzu is a scam artist exorcist and gets hired to kill a demon, Hidan, but he is immortal and can’t be killed and Kakuzu really doesn’t know how to actually kill a demon anyways and decides to take him home in order to get paid for the job.





	Kakuzu, the Exorcist

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Naruto Gift Exchange on tumblr for Giltine13

Kakuzu did not believe in anything other than money, as money was something he could count on (quite literally) and money did not let you down, did not disappoint (unless you had too little of it), and it never made promises it couldn’t (or decided not to) keep. He was happy alone (or so he told himself) with his money, no one else to waste it, no one to have to share it with. He was free to come and go as he pleased and free to spend all his waking hours working for even more money.

He ran a couple of scams, one of which was an exorcism scam where he claimed to remove demons and ghosts and bad energies from homes and old buildings, though he never once encountered anything supernatural, and the only negative energies he ever came across came from the people living there themselves in his opinion.

Which was how he found himself hired to exercise a demon in an old, Victorian church someone bought and wanted to renovate and turn into a house. The amount he would earn was higher than anything he had been paid for similar services before so of course he was going to take the job.

So he packed a small suitcase then gathered some tools consisting of a handgun (once he discovered the ghost to be a deranged drug addict that had attacked him and another time was a family of raccoons living in someone’s attic), a couple of knives, a couple flashlights, and a bottle of ‘holy’ water which was just his tap water but people seemed to like seeing it. Once he was packed he left his small apartment and drove up north in his Camaro ‘The Exorcist’ to where the supposedly haunted church was. He loved the 1,000 base horsepower and V8 motor, with leather seats, it was one of the few things he had been willing to spend money on without regrets.

The woman who met him in the bar, Konan, was younger than he expected. She had blue hair and a piercing just below her bottom lip. He honestly had expected an eccentric old woman but he supposed she could still be eccentric, it didn’t require you to be old. She rose as he walked towards her and held out her hand. He took it and noticed she had a firm handshake, most women just gave him a limp shake, he hated that, it felt like a limp rag when they did that.

“Thank you for coming, Kakuzu.”

“I accepted the job, why wouldn’t I?”

She shrugged and motioned for him to sit, “The church has a violent history, I might have kept that information from you. You are not the first I have tried to hire.”

“Indeed you did keep that from me, in fact you really never told me anything. So tell me, what am I up against?” He didn’t particularly care about it’s violent past. What part of the country didn’t have a violent past? He wanted to do what he needed to and move on to his next job, whatever that would be.

She regarded him cooly, “Do you care for a drink?”

“Water only, I never drink while getting the details of a job.”

She nodded at this and when the server past them, requested a water, “Are you experienced in exercising demons?”

“Yes, I’ve done quite a few.” It wasn’t so much a lie as it was an exaggeration. He wasn’t sure there had ever been any demons to begin with because he didn’t believe in them. Just because some people did didn’t mean they existed and people were happy with his ‘exorcisms’ so he considered himself a successful exorcist.

“Good. The church has been abandoned for almost one hundred years, no one would set foot in there after the priest had been found murdered, sacrificed on the altar, on the wall was a symbol painted in blood.”

Well that was new, Kakuzu raised a brow, “The demon did this? And not some crazed individual? I’ve never come across a demon that actually murdered anyone before.” Kakuzu thought this would be an easy job, there was no demon, it had to have been a murderer and people spun a tale of there being a demon and it got out of hand.

“That’s what they say. A man with a pale, hideous face, red eyes, and wings, stained with blood. They say he killed numerous clergy who tried to banish him, even nuns. That church is stained with their blood, quite literally.”

Kakuzu sipped his water, watching Konan, he could tell she believed what she was saying, “Tell me, why do you want to turn it into a house? Why would you want to live where such horrific things took place?”

With a sigh, she lifted her drink to her lips and drank, “I want to cleanse it, I want to put to rest those who may be tied to that dark place, and make it something beautiful. Will you accept this job? Or must I keep looking?”

She was paying a large amount and Kakuzu wasn’t afraid of a ghost story, “I accept.”

 

The following day Kakuzu went to check out the church, it was cloudy and looked like it might rain later. Konan had refused to enter the building, so Kakuzu went on his own. The night before he had read up on the church and as he stepped inside, he felt a chill in the air that had nothing to do with the weather and the hair on the back of his arms and neck stood on ends.

The air inside smelled of damp, rot, and decay, and the further in Kakuzu walked, the heavier the air felt, almost suffocating, but Kakuzu was not going to turn tail and run, he was not afraid of a ghost story.

He walked up to the front of the church and up the steps of the diais, looking at the altar, it was stained brown, some flaking away now but Kakuzu knew it was blood, and looked to the stone wall behind him, the symbol, an inverted triangle within a circle, still remained though the blood was dried and flaking, like paint, in need of a fresh coat.

A tingling between his shoulders told Kakuzu that someone or something, was watching him, and he turned but saw nothing, he could no longer even see Konan who was still waiting outside, or at least, he hoped she was.

No, there was something inside the church with him, he searched the corners, but it was hard as the light did not reach everywhere, looked up in the rafters, and then heard the beating of wings, “A bird.” He said to himself, exhaling and making his way towards the stairs, stone, with a wooden banister that was heavily decayed, tracks of woodworm on it, creating interesting patterns in it. He wondered if the steps would still hold. Stepping onto the first stair he paused, listening for any sign of it crumbling and when it held he carefully continued his way up, noticing that the temperature started to drop the higher he went.

It was even darker up on the second floor, and Kakuzu didn’t know how sound the flooring was, so he remained on the top step and shined his flashlight into the inky shadows. Again he heard the beating of wings and whirled around, hoping to catch sight of whatever it was, but aside from what he thought was the shadows moving, he saw nothing. Shivering, Kakuzu decided he really did not like this church very much, thought Konan was out of her mind to want to live in it, and quickly made his way back down and outside.

“What do you think?” Konan asked as he stepped out into the light.

Kakuzu snorted, “That you paid too much for this place and that you must be mad.” 

She smiled then, and it was the first time he had seen her do so, “I may very well be mad.”

Kakuzu explained he would go back to his hotel room and get what he needed and would return alone. He never actually ‘exercised’ demons, he just said he had done it, except a couple of times when the people refused to leave, needing to ‘see with their own eyes as the spirits left’.

He had never felt more ridiculous in his life and considered quitting right then and there and pursuing some other, much less ridiculous scam. **  
**

It was darker when Kakuzu returned and droplets of rain were starting to fall, he turned on his flashlight and made sure he had his gun and knives on him,  before going in and then walked around and looked at the old carvings on the pillars, now warped and rotting away. An old bookshelf that once housed bibles and who knows what else, the books now warped and moldy. As he bent to shine the light on them, he heard it, footsteps, echoing throughout the stone building. He froze, “Konan? I thought I told you I work alone.”

The footsteps stopped but there was no answer. He hadn’t seen Konan, she seemed content to let him work without spying, and when Kakuzu heard the footsteps again, he realized they had come from upstairs.

After straightening up, he shined the flashlight towards the stairs, wondering who was up there, and unsure if he really wanted to find out. He really did not want to be attacked again by either animals or a drug addict.

The rain started coming down harder, the roof leaking in numerous places and letting the water drip inside. One drop landed right on his nose as he looked up.

Deciding not to linger any longer at the bookshelf of decaying bibles, there was nothing there worth anything, Kakuzu walked down the aisle and caught a glimpse of color from on the altar. Red. He turned and let the flashlight land on the altar.

Blood had been splashed down the front, it was still dripping, fresh, and on top was a lump. Moving towards it Kakuzu saw that it was a raven, dead, it’s belly slashed open. Out of morbid curiosity Kakuzu looked up to see if the symbol had been redrawn. It had not, but then, he noticed the floor had one, and he bent, running his fingers through it, “Very funny.” He said, expecting some kids to leap out laughing at him. There was nothing but an eerie, deafening silence. Kakuzu sniffed the liquid on his fingers, expecting it to be ketchup or some concoction of dye, water and cornstarch. It was none of those.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?”   
  
Kakuzu jumped and spun around, he hadn’t heard anyone come up behind him and now an unnaturally pale young man stood before him, with pink eyes and silver hair, a shadow behind him that moved and rustled. His clothes were all black, the style old and out of place.

“I made it for you to find, something to break the ice, isn’t it beautiful?” He looked towards the altar, eyeing the dead raven with such gentleness, “She is what you heard earlier, trying to escape, tsk, tsk, naughty bird, so I sacrificed her to Death, I shared in her pain.”   
  
Who was this freak, Kakuzu wanted to know, “Ha ha, very funny. Why don’t you go home to your mommy and daddy, I have a job to do.” Kakuzu waved the stranger off but he didn’t leave and only stepped closer.

“Do you not know who I am? I am Hidan, and this is where I reside. I can’t leave.”

“Hidan, huh? Well, go somewhere else.” Kakuzu turned away, “You haven’t seen that ‘demon’ everyone is going on about, have you?”

Hidan laughed, quiet at first and gradually getting louder and more insane sounding as it continued, making Kakuzu look back at him, “You’re talking to him!”

Kakuzu rolled his eyes, “Great, you’re insane.”

“Maybe, but maybe anyone would be insane after being trapped here for nearly a hundred and fifty fucking years!”

Kakuzu took a step back, shining his flashlight over Hidan’s body, then on the dark shape behind him and brought the light down to just above his shoulders. Black feathers, some tipped in white, and when Hidan realized what Kakuzu was looking at, he expanded them to show them off, “Beautiful, aren’t they? I’m rather proud of them.” He brought them forward and ran his left hand down over the right wing, “What do you think?”

“I think you talk too much.”

“And I think you want to touch my wings. Do you want to feel them? They’re oh so fucking soft,” Hidan extended one wing forward, his voice like silk, “Go on, touch, don’t be shy. I’d  _really_  like it if you did.”

“No,” Kakuzu said, it was a lie- he did want to touch them, “Probably infested with mites.”

Hidan’s smile twisted into something else and he swept his wings back, out of Kakuzu’s reach, “I’ll kill you, you dirty, filthy heathen! You insult me like that? I am a loyal servant of Lord Jashin! And what are you? Nothing.” He spat, looking Kakuzu up and down, “A mere mortal, probably come to try and get rid of me. Well here’s a newsflash for you- you can’t!”

Kakuzu had stepped back, his hand reaching for his gun, if Hidan kept talking like this, he would get an opening to shoot, it would be best to do it quick and not drag things out, “I’m not dying here tonight, but you are.”

“Your name,” Hidan said, stepping forward, coughing, “It’s so dusty in here…oh, if this was a hundred years ago and you coughed, it meant you were going to die soon. Could this be an omen? Tell me you name, I want to know it since you’re so sure you’re going to kill me.”

“Kakuzu.”

“A pleasure to meet you, Kakuzu, I am Hidan, the demon of the Greenwood Church, and I pray to Jashin that you actually are able to kill me, it gets so lonely in here all alone, decade after decade, I’m rather tired of it. But…if not,” he shrugged, “I’ll just kill you instead.” He said it as if they were exchanging pleasantries, “Did you know I’ve killed a priest? It’s a real sin, but I’m a demon anyways so-”

Kakuzu didn’t wait, he pulled the gun and aimed for Hidan’s chest and then stomach while Hidan was still talking, effectively shutting him up.

The bullets hit, Kakuzu watched as blood began to seep from the wounds, darkening the front of his shirt. Hidan stood there, looking at Kakuzu in shock, “That is just rude. I was still talking.” He came forward, wincing in pain, “That also  _really_  fucking hurts.” He grabbed his stomach, blood seeping out around his fingers, dark red contrasting with his pale fingers. Coughing he spat a mouthful of blood onto the floor at his feet. He brought his wing forward and smacked the gun from Kakuzu’s hand, it flew across the room and Kakuzu grabbed one of the knives and lunged forward.

Kakuzu drove his knife through Hidan’s chest, right through his heart, and watched as blood bubbled from his mouth, “Oh, Jashin…is this what my own death feels like? Huh…I feel weird…”

Hidan fell to his knees, pulling Kakuzu down with him onto the floor. Hidan brought pale fingers up and wiped across his mouth, they came away covered in his own blood and reaching up, he grasped Kakuzu’s face for a moment before he lost strength and his hand fell away, leaving a smear of blood down his killers cheek.

“I feel so…free…” Hidan coughed and more blood filled his mouth, he was choking on it, drowning in his own blood. It felt incredible, he wished Kakuzu could share this pain with him, it would have made it ten times better.

Kakuzu watched as the demon died practically in his arms and almost felt sad. He had been such a beautiful creature, but now he was gone and at least seemed happy for it.

Kakuzu gathered his things and wondered what he was supposed to do with the body when it suddenly jerked and Hidan’s eyes rolled forward and he tried to inhale, but started choking on the blood and rolled to his side and onto his knees to cough, spitting blood and clearing his mouth and throat.   
  
Watching in horror and amazement, Kakuzu saw Hidan grab the handle of the knife and pull it from his chest, blood spilling onto the floor before the wound began to heal.

“Fuck that hurts!” Hidan groaned, “Hey, Kakuzu, you dickhead, congratulations, you killed me.”

“Unfortunately, it seems it wasn’t permanent.” 

Sitting back on his heels, Hidan threw his head back and groaned, “But it felt  _so_  good…”

“What kind of perverted demon are you?” Kakuzu sighed, “Look I have to get rid of you, can’t you just…leave?”

Hidan shook his head, “Are you fucking stupid, Kakuzu?” With a dramatic eye roll, he went on, “I’m tied here, I can’t leave this building, do you seriously think I’d have stayed in this shithole for over a hundred years if I could leave? Use the brain that is supposed to be in that skull of yours. I can’t just get up and walk out of here. The bitch that summoned me bound me to a pendant.” His eyes lit up at that, “Hey! You wanna to hear the story? It’s a good one, I’ll even make voices for people, I got the perfect voice for that stupid bitch, I used to mock her all the time and she hated me and-”

This was the demon that terrorized a church and made people abandon it? Kakuzu thought he was probably more lonely than anything else at this point, he was not going to listen to a story, and told him flatly, “No.” 

Hidan pouted at that, “No one ever wants to hear it…” He started to feel around on his chest where he had been shot and reached his fingers in, “Ah! Oh shit, that really hurts! Doesn’t even feel good.”

Kakuzu watched, deciding Hidan was trying to remove the bullet and wondered if he had ever been shot before, “I don’t have time for your children’s story hour. You’re going to have to leave now so I can get paid.” Kakuzu looked around for something else to try to kill Hidan with, “Maybe wood? Like a vampire…” He mused as he tore a piece from the rotting pew and came back to stand over Hidan who threw his hands up, one hand covered in blood and holding the bullet from his chest.

“That won’t kill me! You’d just give me a ton of splinters and it’d be a bitch to try to remove them all!” He swatted at Kakuzu with his wings, knocking the piece of wood away, “I told you there’s a pendant.”

“Is it worth much?”

Hidan laughed quietly, “Oh yes, Kakuzu, it’s worth a whole lot. Now just…a minute,” he looked down at his stomach and pushed two fingers into the bullet wound and sucked in a breath, “I need to remove this other bullet because one just wasn’t enough for you.”

Once the second bullet was out, the wound started to heal over and Hidan got up and lead Kakuzu to where the necklace was. Along the way Hidan pointed out the various places he had sacrificed people to Jashin, “And this is where I finally killed the bitch who summoned me here, turns out it wasn’t the smartest thing to do as I became trapped here, since they buried her with the damn necklace.”

“So you want me to dig up her grave?” Kakuzu asked.

“Yeah, of course.” He said as if it were something one did everyday.

“Better be worth it.”

Hidan grinned, “Oh, I am.”

The woman had been buried inside the church, under the stone floor in the hall and it took all the rest of the afternoon and into the evening to dig it up, “There!” Hidan pointed to the bones, old and dusty, “I can feel it.” 

Kakuzu raised a brow at that and got down on his knees to reach in and look for the necklace. He found it, wrapped in a cloth near the skull. It was a simple looking necklace, a silver chain with a pendant of an inverted triangle inside a circle. Shiny, no sign of age, it looked like costume jewelry. 

“Is this a joke?”

“No, definitely not.” Hidan spoke softly, “Put it on, Kakuzu! Put it on and I can finally leave!” He reached forwards and grabbed the chain but immediately let go, hissing in pain as the smell of burnt flesh filled the space between them, “Dammit!!”

Kakuzu frowned and grabbed one of Hidan’s hands and looked at his palm, it was burned raw, the skin already blistering. He let go to pick up the necklace that Hidan had dropped onto the floor and put it on. It was heavier than it looked and cold to the touch.

Kakuzu filled in the grave and put the stones back in place while Hidan sat there and glared at the pendant that now hung from Kakuzu’s neck, his hands not healing the way the other wounds had earlier.

“I hate that thing, but I cursed her, I sent her to Jashin.” Hidan spat on the grave as Kakuzu finished.

“So, we can leave now?” Kakuzu asked.

“Please.”

 

Kakuzu had a first aid kit in his car and made Hidan hold out his hands, “I don’t want you getting any blood or anything on my seats.” He squeezed some antibiotic cream onto the burned flesh and then wrapped them in bandages, but Hidan wasn’t even paying attention, he was looking around as if seeing things for the first time, not seeming to care that he was getting drenched by the rain. Kakuzu hoped his wings wouldn’t smell like wet dog, or wet bird, whatever that smelled like.

“Finished, now get in the car.” Kakuzu said as he opened the door and put the seat down.

“You’re kinda nice, aren’t you?” Hidan said with a sweet smile that Kakuzu thought was all wrong for a demon, “That would have taken longer to heal on its own.”

He made Hidan lay down in the backseat of his car, so no one would see and claim he was a fraud even though he was but thinking about it he thought that maybe now he wasn’t. He had removed Hidan from the church and he seemed to be an actual demon, it just wasn’t the type of removal Konan was expecting. He just hoped it was dark enough that no one would see them so he grabbed his coat from the passenger seat and threw it over Hidan who let out a muffled protest.

He stopped at Konan’s apartment and told Hidan to wait in the car and that he better not damage anything. While Kakuzu was getting out Hidan was saying something but Kakuzu didn’t pay attention and shut the door, locking it and went up to the apartment while Hidan pounded on the windows.

“It’s done, I got rid of the demon for you.”

“Have you really? I’d like to see for myself if you don’t mind.” 

“Of course I don’t.” Kakuzu told her, “In fact I insist all my clients see for themselves. We could go now if you’d like.”

She nodded and put on a coat and lead the way out of the building, “I can drive myself, I’ll meet you there.”

When Kakuzu got in the car, Hidan was pale and sweating and looked like he had been in agony, gasping for breath on the back seat. There were feathers everywhere, some large plumes while smaller, down-like feathers floating in the air.

“What the hell is wrong with you? You better not be carsick.” Kakuzu said, “I won’t clean it up.”

“Fuck you…” He breathed, “You always walk away when people are trying to talk to you?”

“Sometimes.”

Hidan stayed down as Kakuzu pulled away from the curb and started down the street, trying to catch his breath, “I have to be within a certain radius of that cursed necklace, or I can die.”

“So…you’re immortal but can die?”

“I would suffer greatly before returning to the place I came from, but essentially yes.”

Halfway there, Hidan poked his head up, “Hey, Kakuzu, why are we going back to that church? You’re not thinking of getting rid of me so soon, are you?!” 

“No, the woman who hired me wants to be sure I got rid of you. Hey, keep your head down.” He reached back and pushed Hidan back down and got his hand bit in response.

“Mmm, you taste good.” Hidan licked his lips.

Kakuzu walked through the church with Konan who seemed pleased that there was no demonic energy present anymore, “You’ll have to clean that up,” Kakuzu pointed to the altar, “He made a sacrifice for me to find.”

“Oh?” She looked at the floor that had blood all over it, then at Kakuzu, who still had a smear of it on his face, “And this?”

“Is where I killed him.”

She raised a brow, he killed the demon? He didn’t help it to pass on or to go back? What sort of exorcist was he? Though she could feel the oppressive atmosphere had been lifted she didn’t exactly like his methods. She wondered if he had murdered someone and was passing it off as the demon, she would not want to become an accessory to murder.   
  
“And you left all this blood?”

“Yes. Cleaning is not in my job description. I believe we’re finished here?”

“We are.” They stood under the eaves, out of the rain as she opened her purse and pulled out a thick envelope, “Here you are, Kakuzu.”

He took the envelope from her and counted each and every bill, “Thank you, it was good doing business with you.” 

“Likewise.” They walked back to their cars and he noticed she was looking at his, “I do wish you the best of luck.” And she turned away and got into her own car and left.

He had the strangest feeling she knew what was in his car, but what did it matter, he did what she hired him to do, remove the demon and he did.

Less than thirty seconds out of the town and Hidan jumped up, laughing quietly to himself, “The last time I left that town was in the back of a crappy mule drawn cart. Look at me now! What an improvement!”

Kakuzu glanced at him in the rear view as Hidan’s laughter got louder and louder. Kakuzu wasn’t sure what was so hilarious to Hidan but he didn’t say anything and hoped he wouldn’t be this loud the entire drive home. He was annoying,  was worse than a child, and if Hidan didn’t stop laughing like that he was going to get a headache and throw him out doing 80 down the highway.

A few moments later, Hidan was crawling over the seat to get up front.

“Hey, what are you doing?” Kakuzu demanded, trying to stop him, weaving into the next lane before correcting and avoiding an accident, “You stay in the back!” 

“I’m not an animal! Let me sit in front. There’s no leg room back here.”

“What if someone sees you?” 

“Who gives a fuck? I’m coming up there.” He crawled over the seats, hitting Kakuzu in the face with one wing then blocking his view of the road briefly with another before finally settling down in the seat.

“You’re going to get me killed…” Kakuzu grumbled.

“No, I’ll be your guardian demon and you don’t die by anything other than my own hand many years from now.” Hidan said this as if it were meant to be comforting though Kakuzu found it anything but. And before he could comment, Hidan was sniffing and then licking the seat, “Hmmm….leather…” he looked up at Kakuzu, “I seem to have landed with a man of means.”

“Stop licking the seats…that’s gross and I don’t want your spit on them.”

Hidan ignored him and leaned over and licked the steering wheel, “Ugh…” he stuck his tongue out, “that…is not leather…”

“No, it’s not.” Kakuzu shook his head and shifted gears as he increased his speed.

 

Kakuzu watched Hidan walk into the apartment looking around, picking things up and putting them back down, flipping through his books, “Your home is ugly and very small. Judging by your car, I expected better.”

“It beats that run down old church that stunk like mold.”

“Maybe.” Hidan shrugged and sat down on the couch, “Hmm…soft. I like this.” 

“Thank you for your approval of my furniture. I’m going to bed now. If you destroy anything, I’ll put this pendant in cement and sink it in the middle of the ocean and throw you in with it.”

Hidan nodded as if he didn’t really care and bounced on the couch a couple of times before leaning back.

Kakuzu had showered and dressed for bed but couldn’t sleep, he blamed there being an actual demon in the other room for his inability to fall asleep and so he lay there with his eyes closed.

Later that night Kakuzu learned that Hidan could move silently when he turned onto his side to find Hidan laying next to him in bed.

“Dammit Hidan!!” Kakuzu shouted, startled more than he wanted to admit, “What do you think you’re doing?!”

“I’m bored.”

“So?”

“So…I thought I’d come keep you company. I knew you weren’t asleep yet.” Hidan turned onto his side, “Do you always have trouble sleeping? Or do I make you nervous? I would think having a real live demon in your house might make you at least a wee bit nervous, wouldn’t it?”

Hidan was much closer than Kakuzu wanted and he tensed up.

“Ah, so I do make you nervous.” Hidan’s smile faded and he rolled off the bed, a single feather left behind.

“Hidan.” Kakuzu said, sitting up, letting the blanket pool at his waist, but Hidan was gone, and Kakuzu reached out to pick up the single feather left behind. He held it up and ran his fingers over it. It was like nothing he had ever felt before, and beautiful, black with flecks of white on it. He put the feather on the nightstand and tried to sleep.

When morning came, Kakuzu found Hidan standing in the window watching the street below with a  frown, “It’s damn so loud here.” He said, “How do you stand it?”

“You get used to it.” Kakuzu set about to make coffee, never taking his eyes off the demon he let into his life.

“If you’re afraid of me why did you put that pendant on?” Hidan turned, his wings illuminated by the sunlight, shimmering. Kakuzu wanted to touch them and run his hands over them, he wondered how it would feel to Hidan if he did so and wondered if Hidan had ever allowed anyone to touch them.

“You said it was worth a lot, I planned to sell it.”

“S,sell it?!” Hidan screeched, “How dare you?!”

“I like money.”

“I meant it was worth a lot, as in  _me!_  You fucking get me with that pendant! Money…money is filthy! A sin! You must be more of a heathen than I thought. May Jashin forgive you.” Hidan paced the floor as he went on and on about it, “Do you know how valuable that necklace is, or more specifically the pendant?! I am a demon! That binds us together!”

“You really do talk too much.” Kakuzu sighed, “Be quiet or the neighbors will complain. How would I explain you to anyone?” How was he going to explain those wings. They were beautiful but ridiculously large, reaching all the way to the floor. And Hidan had to be within a certain proximity to the pendant at all times. He decided he would just have to leave it behind when he had to leave the apartment.

Hidan walked over to the kitchen and looked around and a thought occurred to Kakuzu, did he eat? And if he did, what did he eat?

“Are you hungry?”

Hidan nodded.

“What do you eat?”

“I prefer meat.”

Kakuzu poured two cups of coffee and held one out to Hidan who took it and sniffed, then took a drink and spit it right back out into the mug, “Ugh, that’s fucking disgusting!”

It turned out that Hidan did not like much of anything Kakuzu had in his kitchen, aside from meat, preferably red and rare to the point of being nearly raw.

It was strange for Kakuzu to suddenly have someone living with him after being alone so long, but he found he enjoyed Hidan’s company far more than he expected but would never admit it. And Hidan enjoyed having someone to actually talk to, and having a new place to haunt. He enjoyed frightening people in the stairwell late at night while Kakuzu slept. Another time he followed Kakuzu into the trash room and was disgusted by the smell that assaulted him and ran out gagging and gasping for air at which Kakuzu laughed at his suffering.

“I have a very sensitive nose!” Hidan informed him, “Why didn’t you warn me?!”

“It’s the room with the trash chute, what did you expect?” Kakuzu shrugged.

It wasn’t long before Kakuzu needed to leave the apartment and did not want Hidan coming along. He was getting dressed in the bedroom and tried removing the necklace, but it refused to come off, it wouldn’t even budge.

“Hidan!” Kakuzu shouted.

He appeared behind him, his reflection in the mirror and Kakuzu thought it looked like he was preening himself as he looked himself over, “You summoned me?”

“Yes, now tell me, why does this necklace not want to come off?” Kakuzu attempted to remove it again and still nothing, but any other time it moved around like any other ordinary piece of jewelry.

“Ah…well you see, Kakuzu, that is a very special necklace and you cannot take it off. Didn’t I tell you that part?” Hidan flashed an innocent smile his way.

It did nothing to help Kakuzu’s quickly rising temper, “No, you did not. And you know you didn’t!”

“Oh. It must have slipped my mind.” Hidan said with a laugh.

“Have fun suffering.” Kakuzu stomped out of the bedroom, grabbed his keys and wallet and slammed the door shut, hurrying towards the elevator only to have Hidan barrel towards him and knock him to the floor in the middle of the hall.

“You’re such an asshole, Kakuzu!” Hidan, “You can’t leave me here like that! I’ll fucking die!” 

“I’m the asshole?!” Kakuzu punched him in the face, “You lied to me!”

Hissing, Hidan bit Kakuzu hard on the hand that punched him, drawing blood, “You’re lucky I don’t just kill you.”

“You won’t,” he shoved Hidan off him with as much force as he could, sending him into the wall, “because you’re too much of a coward to be stuck in one place again.”

“Fuck you!” Hidan spat as he rolled onto his stomach and got up, rubbing one wing, “That really hurt…fucking dickhead.” He held that wing closer to his body for a few days, and complained about it as often as he could. 

Kakuzu ordered a long trench coat for Hidan to wear to hide his wings so they could leave the apartment at other times than after midnight and without looking like Hidan was going to a costume party, but Kakuzu had stopped talking to Hidan after their fight. He acted like Hidan wasn’t even there, completely ignoring him for a week. It drove Hidan mad and he tried ignoring Kakuzu, it last a few hours.

Kakuzu woke when he felt the mattress dip down, it was Hidan, he was looking at him, “What do you want, Hidan?”

“I’m lonely and I think you are too, Kakuzu.”

“I’m not.”

“Oh? You’ve been ignoring me and…I can tell you miss our talks.”

“I’m trying to sleep,” he huffed, “if you’re going to stay, at least stop staring at me like that, it’s creepy.” Kakuzu turned his back to Hidan and closed his eyes but Hidan shifted closer until he felt a hand on his back. He tensed, unsure of what Hidan was up to, and turned to watch as Hidan closed his eyes, laying on his side his wings were relaxed behind him and then one came up and wrapped itself around Kakuzu and pulled him closer to Hidan.

“You’re so warm…”

“Yes, while you’re like a block of ice.” Kakuzu grit out, “What are you doing?”

He opened his eyes, “Listen Kakuzu, I’m not sorry I tricked you. I’m glad to be out of that awful place, you’d have done the same. And you know what? You’re not such a bad guy to be stuck with. I’m not a bad guy to get stuck with either. In fact…I like you and I think you like me. I know you like money and I could help you earn more, I can see spirits and shit.”

Kakuzu was quiet, this was probably as good an apology as he was going to get. He thought about it and yes, he would have done the same, probably sooner but maybe the opportunity had never presented itself to Hidan sooner.

“Alright fine. I understand why you did what you did. I’m still pissed about it though.” 

At that, Hidan smiled as he snuggled closer, resting his head on the pillow.

“What…what are you doing, Hidan?” 

“I’m trying to sleep, what’s it look like?” Hidan asked.

Kakuzu hadn’t seen Hidan sleep at all, and figured he didn’t need to, but he always had dark smudges under his eyes so maybe he did need sleep.

“If you mind, I can leave…” Hidan told him, “If I make you uncomfortable or-”

“No, no, it’s fine, you can stay, but…get your damn feet off my legs!” Kakuzu couldn’t stand it, Hidan’s feet were like ice.

With a giggle, which Kakuzu was not going to think was cute, Hidan pulled his feet away and pressed his face between Kakuzu’s shoulders and inhaled, “You smell so good, I could smell you as soon as you entered that church,” he sighed and pulled Kakuzu closer, “and I knew I would regret it if I killed you. No one ever smelled as good as you do.”

Kakuzu wasn’t quite sure what Hidan was getting at, and kept quiet, knowing he would keep talking because Hidan seemed to really enjoy the sound of his own voice.

“I want to smell you without this shirt…take it off for me.” Hidan’s voice had gotten deeper and he was already pushing the t-shirt up.

“Hidan, what are you-”

Hidan pressed his face to his bare back and breathed in deeply, “Oh yes…so good…” 

Kakuzu gasped when he felt Hidan’s mouth on his back, his tongue trailing over his spine, licking and tasting, leaving a kiss here and there.

“I knew you’d taste as good as you smell, Kakuzu.” He slid his hand around to Kakuzu’s chest and leaned over, “Can I sleep next to you tonight?”

“That depends. Can I touch your wings?” Kakuzu waited and when he heard Hidan’s whispered, ‘yes’, he reached out and touched them. They were softer than any down feather could ever hope to be, and Hidan shuddered as Kakuzu ran his hand over them, “You like that?” 

“Yes, keep doing that.” Hidan breathed, “They’re so fucking sensitive…”

Kakuzu ran his hand over them again, rubbing his fingers against the feathers here and there as if petting a cat until he had Hidan practically purring in his ear. Turning towards him, he ran his hand down to the base of his wings, where they grew from his shoulder blades, and watched as Hidan’s eyes rolled back into his head in absolute bliss.

“Kakuzu…no one’s ever touched me like this before…” 

“No?”

“No one. Please don’t stop.” It was the most intimate thing Hidan had ever experienced, and he found himself wrapping his arms and legs around Kakuzu, pulling him as close as he possibly could and wanting to be even closer.

As Kakuzu continued touching Hidan’s wings, Hidan leaned forward and kissed him, moaning as Kakuzu kissed back, the light from the moon filtering down through Hidan’s wings that blocked out the rest of the world.

 

The End. 


End file.
